Why I left Islam?

 

Why I left Islam?

First, let me introduce myself.
I was born into a muslim family, like so many others.
So obviously I was a muslim since birth.
As soon as I was born, indoctrination began, shaping a cult into a child’s vulnerable mind.
My name was decided by a priest.(It is considered auspicious).
The first thing I heard with my tender ears is “Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar” (God is great, God is Great), which I would repeat in my life so many times.
Then they circumcised my precious little thing (it hurts a lot) by saying “bismillah hir rahman nir raheem” – “In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”. (Not for medical reasons, but for religious rites). How can cutting a babies foreskin be considered merciful? If Allah wanted all us circumcised, why didn’t he create us like that? Circumcision  is a must to be a muslim, as it is also required in other abrahamic faiths. If you get scared of circumcision you will not be accepted as a muslim, as it’s a must for every Muslim male. So before thinking of getting converted to a muslim, you must get rid of Aichmophobia.
Then on the seventh day after my birth, to thank allah for blessing them with a son, they performed aqeeqah. (Sacrifice that is offered on behalf of the newborn on the seventh day after birth.). They sacrificed two sheep (for a girl it is one sheep, one boy = two girls, and they talk about gender equality). Their throats were cut by reciting  “bismillah hir rahman nir raheem” – “In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”. (Where is the mercy for the sheep here?).
As an infant I did not have the liberty of taking any decisions, all the thinking part was taken care by my dear father (mothers don’t have a say, they are of no value). I was repeatedly asked to say “bismillah hir rahman nir raheem” before doing anything. I got used to it over a period of time. Before doing anything, I used to say “bismillah hir rahman nir raheem”. My mom started training me about the ethics of islam at home. Thankfully I was put into a school for my worldly education. But in the evenings I had to go to a madrasa in a nearby mosque. In the madrasa I was told that Mohammed is the most perfect man ever in the history of the Universe. Infallible. He never committed any bad act. After Allah, Mohammed is the most benevolent person. I was told that Mohammed always forgave his opponents, he was a forgiving and tolerant man. I was told that Mohammed respected women the most and Islam was a religion that honoured women. In a nutshell , to Muslims Mohammed is a saviour of this mankind.(peace be upon him)
I was always told to do namaz without ever missing it, five times a day. I was also told to recite quran in arabic everyday without fail. I was told about satan. How he leads us to the wrong path. How dreadful satan is. I was told that if I miss namaz, i would be sent to hell. Which is what every child would be threatened with, eternal hellfire (lol, Allah is the most merciful).
Then there were stories about how satan takes control of you, when you miss your namaz.
I was told about the omnipresence of Allah. (I used to wonder, if god is one, how the hell is he present everywhere). This used to confuse me.
I was also told about heaven, jannah. I was told that I would be taken to heaven when I have completed all my duties which Allah has ordered. I was told that heaven is the most beautiful place to be in. I was told about rivers of honey, streams of milk. (Sadly there was no mention about chocolate rivers, I love chocolates).
I was also told that, Allah is always watching you. He will punish you for whatever wrong you do and reward you for the good things, so we must also try to please Allah and stay away from sin.
I was also told about two angels called Raqib and Atid, one angel always sits on the right shoulder and records all good deeds, while another sits on the left shoulder and records all bad deeds. ( I used to wonder when Allah knows everything we do, why was there a need to have these two extra guys. No wonder we have the so called population explosion.
I used to hear stories from my friends about ghosts. Like one of my friends always used to tell us a lot of stories about ghosts. His father was a truck driver. He always used to tell us about his father’s encounters with the ghosts. Listening all this, we used to get terrified. All this made me  phasmophobic. I was not able to sleep properly at night. I knew a ghost will come from nowhere and eat me up or do some terrifying thing to me. I believed more easily in the existence of ghosts as Allah himself had created satan. Whatever my friend used to tell me, i used to blindly believe in it.
Just imagine my plight those days. I could never sleep alone. I could never go to a room which had no light. Nights were terrible to me during those times. I was never able to come out of that fear for a long time.
As I grew I learnt more about islam. I learnt about the 72 hoors (Female maidens of paradise) which we would be getting for being obedient to God.
The Shaheed (Martyr – who dies for the cause of islam) is one of the people who will straight go to the Jannah (Heaven) and get those 72 hurs. (Wonder if he gets time for prayers with so many hurs). No wonder why so many suicide bombers are working for Allah’s cause. They don’t even have to wait for the day of judgment.

Then , luckily science happened.

Thankfully science was there to my rescue when religion never answered my questions and confused me.
In school , when I was in 8th standard I read about Miller-Urey experiment about the origin of life.
Then read about Darwin and Gregor Mendel and their work.
I got fascinated with the idea of evolution. Started reading articles which supported evolution.
1.The universal genetic code
2.The fossil record.
3. Genetic commonalities
4. Common traits in embryos
5. Bacterial resistance to antibiotics
All these things contradicted the Quran, Adam and hawwa (Eve) and the claim Allah created us. I was confused.

When I tried confronting my islamic teacher at the madrasa with these valid points, he was unable to answer. He would instead reprimand me for questioning Allah’s existence. The best answer he used to give when he had no answer is “Allah knows better.”. The typical answer from clerics who know nothing.

I really started doubting God. Whenever we call for him he is never there?
The most merciful is not at all merciful when you see natural disasters. Where is he when tsunamis and earthquakes claim
thousands of innocent lives?
The most merciful is the most merciless towards animals of sacrifices, which is celebrated as eid al adha
He never tried to prove himself, just left an old book and plenty of doubt, despite the fact Allah is all powerful and easily could clinch his existence if he revealed himself.
He made animals and let them have other smaller animals as their food.
He made sex a sin. (But on the contrary he lures the martyrs with 72 virgins in heaven). Hypocritical in the least.
Is never able to make sun rise from the opposite direction even for once, just to prove his presence.

For all these questions i was reprimanded and punished and was told that Satan is misguiding me. (Allah knows best. lol). Instead of them accepting these doubts came from my rational mind , not some malevolent demon.

Finally, I had enough of all that crap.
And what a transformation in myself after I stopped believing in all that crap.
There was no fear of ghosts as there are none.
There was no fear of Satan.
No fear of the most powerful Allah.
No fear of Hell. (Though I will miss the 72 virgins of heaven).
No fear of death, death is the end of it all. After death i’m nothing same as before my birth. That was a good realisation . There is no hell.

Now I just enjoy my life. Enjoy it to the full. As I should.
I look at the open skies, the sun, the moon and the stars.
I’m a free bird now, free from the bondage.
I have left islam, the kingdom of slaves.